Divorce

What is Divorce?

As a teenager, you have probably heard about divorce. Perhaps your friend has parents who are divorced. A divorce occurs when a husband and wife decide they can't live together anymore and no longer want to be married. This is never an easy decision. Often they spend a long time trying to solve problems before deciding to divorce. Sometimes the husband and wife just can't fix the problems and decide that a divorce is the only solution. Remember it is never your fault. If your parents are getting divorced it is because of their own reasons and problems. When your mom and dad get divorced, it often feels like your whole world has turned upside down. You are dealing with teenage growing up issues and feel that you really don't need this in your life right now! You might feel insecure about what is going to happen to you and the rest of your family. Listen to Sam’s story and see how he deals with divorce. Please allow a few extra seconds to download.

Sam went to chat to his grandfather. Click here to listen.

Then he went to talk to his mother. Click here to listen.

Sam also wanted to chat to his dad. Click here to listen.

Then he went to play with his friend Eddie. Click here to listen.

The legal process

There are different laws of divorce. These laws will depend on the kind of marriage your mother and father have. If your mom and dad have a civil divorce or a customary divorce or a religious divorce, they will have different laws on how the divorce is settled. Discuss these issues with them if you are uncertain about their marriage and divorce details.

If your parents have decided to get divorced (or you need some advice about their divorce) but are not able to afford legal advice, please contact the Legal Aid Board (South Africa). The Legal Aid Board's role is to "provide legal aid to those who cannot afford their own legal representation. The of the Legal Aid Board is to provide legal aid to as many poor people as possible, including vulnerable groups such as women, children and the rural poor." Their tollfree contact number: 08610 53425 or Head Office: (011) 877 2000 or visit their website www.legal-aid.co.za for provincial numbers.

What decisions need to be made?

Your parents need to make decisions about some important matters which affect you directly. These decisions are difficult ones to make and your parents should make use of a third arty, such as an Attorney, to assists with these decissions and their implications. They will be making decissions about the following issues: Custody – who will look after the children? Maintenance - who contributes financially, and how much, towards the children's expenses? Visitation rights - who sees the children and when? Property - who keeps what assests?

If your parents cannot agree on who should look after you and your siblings, the court will decide this. The court has a responsibility to do what is best for the children rather than what is best for the parents. All children have a right to maintenance (money paid to the parent who has custody of the child/ren) until the age of twenty-one. If maintenance is not paid, the parent who has custody can go to the Maintenance Court.

Remember this:

Remember,when your parents fight it usually doesn’t mean that your parents don't love each other anymore or that they are getting a divorce. Even people who love each other fight sometimes. When you fight with your brothers and sisters, parents and friends, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them anymore! Most importantly, speak to your parents about your feelings. Or chat to your Guidance teacher (or any other adult that you trust).

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