Senior Phase

Grades 7 – 9

School and the Teenager

Hi there to all Senior Phase learners, guess what! SABC Education brings you your very own web page! Here we are going to chat about many issues that you might have wondered about or just need some advice on to get you through these Growing Up years.

You must visit this site regularly so that you don’t miss out on our updates!

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WOW! Now that’s a big word to use so early in the year! Yes, big and very, very important.

Let’s first understand why do we need to chat about Assertiveness? We need to become assertive to help us through difficult situations. For example: when the school bully picks on you or when your friends are teasing another child and you don’t like it.

But first, a quick joke or two about difficult situations:

JOKE TIME:

TEACHER: Who gave you that black eye?
PUPIL: No one gave it to me, sir. I had to fight for it!
_____________________________________

Two boys were fighting on the playground.
The teacher separated them and said sternly,
“You must not behave like that!
You must learn to give and take.”
”We did, miss,”' replied one of the boys.
“He took my chips and I gave him a punch.”

You need to know about assertiveness because:

• When you are in Grade 7, you are in the most senior grade in the primary school. You might be asked to serve on certain committees or sit in meetings with teachers and parents and you need to know how to handle conflict (difficult situation).
• Most learners in the Senior Phase move from a primary school to a high school in Grade 8. When you start high school, there might be a few bullies hanging around who make you do silly things like eat sand or carry their school bags home for them.
• Girls, don’t think assertiveness is just for the boys who get into fights. You might find yourself in difficult situations where you need to take control and stick by your decisions.
• In general, this is the point in your Growing Up years where you need to start standing on your own two feet in an adult way. This means that you have to start ‘fighting your own battles’. Assertiveness is a Life Skill that you can use in many, many situations.

The easiest way of explaining what assertiveness is, would be to go through a practical scenario (example). Look at the following three reactions to this situation.

	You are in Grade 8 and just started at your new high school in January.
	The school bell has rung and you are going home.
	BUT, as you get to the school gate, a Grade 12 learner insists that you carry their heavy school bag home (5 blocks out of your way) or threaten that they will tell everyone at school that you are poor and your father doesn’t have a job.

What do YOU do now?

	Option 1: Passive reaction What do you do? You pick up the Grade 12 learner’s school bag and carry it all the way to their house just as they told you to do. What are your problems now? Your back is sore; you are late and your older brother will be worried (or angry); you feel angry and disappointed in yourself for allowing someone to take advantage of you. Win vs Loose You loose.
	Option 2: Aggressive reaction What do you do? You push the learner so hard that they fall to the ground; they get up and punch you right in the jaw. You run away swearing at them. What are your problems now? You will be in trouble at school because you fought at the gate; your jaw hurts and you might need to go to the doctor; you feel angry that you became violent towards someone else; this Grade 12 learner will probably want to get back at you again sometime! Win vs Loose You loose.
	Option 3: Assertive reaction What do you do? You say: “I will not be able to take your school bag home for you because I feel you are abusing your seniority. I have to carry my own school bag and it would be too heavy to carry both bags so far. I am not threatened by you bribing me that you will tell everyone that we are poor. I know we don’t have much money but we have a good loving home and I am proud of my family. They try their best and that is good enough for me. I will therefore not be caring your school bag home for you. I need to leave now, goodbye.”. What are your problems now? None really. You feel good about yourself and they know that you will not be pushed around. Win vs Loose You win!

Assertiveness Rules!

• Focus on talking about yourself; your own feelings and reaction, i.e. “I am disappointed or I do not agree.”
• Do not blame the other person, i.e. don’t say: “You are lazy!“
• Speak slowly and clearly, keeping your voice down.
• Do not get physical, i.e. do not even touch the other person or they could become aggressive.
• Do not accept defeat, if defeat means that you are being ‘trampled on’.
• State clearly what your plan of action is and why. Now stick to what you said!

Note:

	Use assertive behaviour when in conflict situations, i.e. at home, at school or even with your friends.
	Try to create a win-win situation through compromise (give a little – take a little).

Good luck!